Finding my Rhythm Again
Happy July! We have some catching up to do, I think!
Our family celebrated the men in our lives last month on Father's Day with breakfast burritos for brunch and plenty of dad-jokes. My boys were thrilled to celebrate my husband with their handmade presents, and to spend time with their grandpa, uncle, and my brother-in-law’s dad whom they also fondly call “uncle.” At Mass there were special prayers said for all the fathers at church, and they received little wooden cross keychains. My husband gave his to Henry, who was having a rough morning and feeling a bit neglected, so it was a loving gesture that let him feel a little more special that day.
Superhero poses at the park!
Emmett, the baby, is starting to eat purees and gnaw on his “food binky,” the teething toy with a built-in sieve in which to place solid food so baby can safely gnaw on it. Genius, really, and I credit this invention for endearing vegetables to my young children. Emmett is also starting to grow his two bottom teeth and lunge/crawl after his brothers!
My family has been staying consistent in our efforts to minimize processed foods in our diet and every single one of us seems to benefit in some way. My husband seems to have better control over his normally-voracious appetite; Wesley does not seem to notice that he hasn't even received his allergy medication in a couple weeks and seems to be symptom-free; Henry has had no issues with his bowel or bladder (knock on wood). Adam thus far has probably been the one in the family who is still the most in touch with his bodily intuition: he knows when he is hungry and he craves mostly vegetables and fatty fruits like olives and avocados. All the boys have a healthy appetite for apples and watermelon, broccoli and zucchini, and they all recently have developed a taste for my homemade kombucha!
Gnawing on green beans in his food binky
As for me, I have found my rhythm again. I have been stricter with my intake while fasting -no calories at all from creamer or milk in tea or coffee - and it has done the trick! I am not craving things while fasting, no more hanger or preoccupation with food, and it has been so effective that I was just recently able to complete a 38-hour fast, EASILY!
When I do eat, I now focus on making vegetables the star of the show and adding even more fiber whenever I can but using unflavored psyllium husk fiber in my protein shakes and pretty much anything that is baked or needs a thickening agent. My daily staples include homemade probiotic-heavy yogurt, avocado, homemade granola with nuts, seeds, and sweetened with monkfruit; I lead every meal with a protein shake or mug cake made with only egg whites and whey protein (and psyllium husk); and besides my whey protein, I try to go unprocessed or minimally so. I tried for the longest time to without protein powder, but I really was struggling to feel full with my meals and get enough protein without loading up on meat or cottage cheese.
Things like Greek yogurt and cottage cheese are good for protein and your microbiome, but I was finding that they were stimulating my appetite quite a bit. My homemade yogurt does this a little less so, I think because of the intensified fermentation. For me personally, I cannot afford to overdo the dairy; same with nuts, actually! While very nutritious, they are not as satisfying for me. If I keep my day front-loaded with lean protein, I tend to feel much better through the day.
I have reduced my coffee intake and replaced it with green tea. I find that green tea instead of coffee while fasting in the morning actually makes me more energized, which is totally not what I expected, but I also cannot complain!
And taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke them, and gave them to the disciples to set before the crowd. 17 And all ate and were filled. Luke 9:16-17
I find myself drawn to poring over more and more literature on diet and exercise. I have started to tinker with a new breathalyzer that detects when you are in fat-burning mode. I have set my continuous glucose monitor to a lower threshold for tighter control over my blood sugar. But that's just it: it is all a desire to control. Ultimately, when I feel like I am doing everything within my power for my health and still all my gadgets are beeping at me and flashing reminders and notifications, all I end up feeling is like I am failing.
And yet….
My hemoglobin a1c is at 5.4%, a non-diabetic or even prediabetic level. My fasting insulin level came back at 1.1 (average for non-diabetics is on the high end of normal, between 8 and 12). I have more energy than I did three months ago before we started limiting grains and processed foods. My weight is slowly going down and I can see and feel my strength increasing as I track my gains at the gym.
And so…
I am not failing. No matter the number on the scale or the CO2 measurement in my breath. I have to continue to remind myself to seek the Kingdom FIRST and place my faith in God, not in science. Science is ever-changing. God is constant. Our bodies our temporary. God is forever. When Jesus is in our lives, all we need do is lift our eyes to God and ask for His help and sustenance, and we will have all the food we need, macros accounted for. How easy it is to forget that our bodies are perfect, and they will work perfectly when given the tools they need to do so. How wondrous is your creation, Lord!
Tomorrow I am shooting for my mid-week 36-hour fast, but no breathalyzer! That thing talked me into breaking my fasts much earlier than I wanted, and created a great deal of anxiety about over-fasting and losing muscle. But I know for a fact that I feel infinitely better when I fast daily for at least 16 or 18 hours, and in the tail end of those longer 36 to 42 hour fasts, I feel unstoppable! The mind is a very, very powerful thing, and I know that if I psych myself out enough, I will convince myself I am starving and I will be thinking of food constantly! So I have fueled up today on tons of protein and healthy fats, I got my running in (which was not easy, it is so hot outside), and I have started mentally preparing myself to hunker down and get cozy with lots of water and green tea tomorrow.
Hopefully there are no cookies in the conference room tomorrow!