Lessons Learned

Last night the baby had a restless night trying to nurse but getting disturbed by thick mucus obstructing his nose, dripping down his throat and choking him. Naturally this kept me awake as well, but on the positive side, I did not have to set an alarm to wake up my son for his cub scout fishing trip. My sleep-deprived husband, who was also awake half the night, managed to get them both out of the house early enough to grab breakfast and trek out an hour west to meet up with Wesley's troop and get in some fishing. It was good quality father-son time, and Wes caught his first fish!

I am happy for my husband that he got to have this time with our eldest, because this is so rare for them now. Wesley was an only-child for three years when I was finishing my residency. Working eighty hours a week made my husband essentially a single parent, and while this posed many challenges for my husband, it certainly strengthened his bond with Wesley. They have such a special relationship, and our son definitely played a huge role in my husband's personal growth as a man and as a Catholic. It is amazing how becoming a parent - and taking the role seriously - changes you right down to your core. I have seen that growth in my husband, and it is just wild to think that our little boy did all that for his father without even trying.

While Kyle and Wesley were bonding over fishing, my three other boys at home were merciful to my dreary-eyed self and played well together - no meltdowns or tantrums in sight. Part of me wonders if it could have been a consequence of the almond flour sugar-free doughnuts I made them for breakfast. I still cannot help feel that just like me (and probably most people) my kids have the same reaction to grains and sugars, where they cause a temporary “sugar high” followed by a destructive crash, characterized by irritability and emotional lability, not to mention further craving for more food. They each had a couple mini-doughnuts, and it is now past lunchtime and they only ate a light lunch because they are still full and satisfied from breakfast over five hours ago! The peace in the house is worth the effort of all the baking substitutions!

I made a normal birthday cake for Adam's party, and the boys barely ate any of it. Not because they did not like it, but Wesley even said he thought it was too sweet! Mind you, the cake and frosting are tried and true recipes I have used many times in the past, and never once have they complained. If anything, they usually wanted seconds and thirds! I am not offended, though. If anything, I am thrilled that my boys are in tune with their bodies and their appetites, something that disappeared early in my childhood with which I am still trying to reconnect.

Even with all the sugar and pizza at Adam’s party, I managed to stick to my nutritional goals (I like that phrase better than “diet restrictions”!) I love the combination of kalamata olives, cucumbers, and cheese, so I made a salad with those ingredients and had that as a side to the scraped-off toppings of our favorite pizzas. Honestly, I did not miss the crust! And I just felt lighter but satisfied at the same time from all the cheese and meat. Finding ways to make the healthier alternative foods tasty has been the key to being happy with this new way of eating. Even my husband has been trying it out and liking the results!

Even the baby enjoyed the birthday party!

~~~

There is something about 4 p.m. that triggers the munchies. I read somewhere that it is around the time the pancreas releases one of its two or three insulin bursts, which can explain our cyclical hunger that aligns with our circadian rhythm (i.e. in sync with the sun’s rising and setting). Today, my afternoon insulin burst persuaded me to eat a few of the cake pops I made to go along with Adam's cake. Of course, I rationalized in my mind that my kids did not like them, and so they would not go to waste, I could eat them.

While I agree that sometimes you gotta live a little and enjoy even the naughty foods, this rationalization was just ridiculous and I knew it. It would not have meant the end of the world for me to just throw out the cake pops.

But, I ate them.

And, I paid for it.

I mean, I truly felt terrible. Within a half hour I felt nauseous, I had the beginnings of a headache, I was irritable with my children, and of course, it made my blood sugar skyrocket into the 180’s, high enough to kill off a few of my insulin-producing pancreatic beta cells. I got to work strapping Emmett into his carrier as my human rucksack and started speed-marching around the living room to burn off the glucose in my bloodstream. Luckily, within an hour my blood sugar started coming down, but it was probably also thanks to the metformin I had the sense to take amidst my afternoon indulgence. Unfortunately, even with an almost entirely carbohydrate-free dinner, my sugar went up again and I had to get moving to bring it down to under the 140’s. That is the biggest problem with sugar spikes: they take ages to recover from. Sugar lows are kind of the same way, more in how one feels rather than the actual numbers, but both instances demonstrate how sensitive our bodies can be.

That first peak was about 2 hours after I ate the cake pops, and we had dinner a little before 7 p.m.

I think I have learned my lesson and received a good reminder of why I am changing my diet: I feel so much better when I stay within my nutritional boundaries. I feel better physically and mentally, and I feel less disappointed in my lack of self-control if I refuse to make exceptions for myself. I can tell myself that it is okay to indulge once in a while, but I have to remember that even those rare occasions have consequences. Today, I had to accept those consequences, and tomorrow - or even these last few hours of the day - I just have to do better.